As a human _delighting in_ being I have learned one treasure: I encounter various individuals, unravel through my perception a certain imprint of what they are about, learn to appreciate them and at some point impart my love to them. All a growth taking its time and its course. This develops in that manner with those I meet along the way of life, those with whom I eventually build friendships and love relationships. This process is quite different to the appreciation and growth process which takes place between those I was born into or gave birth to, and myself. These relatives are part of a living process based on much self-evidence, while with friends and lovers much more must happen and much more time passes, before a bond crystalizes.
This treasured lesson in being is that those I meet along life, are to be accepted and loved for what I might discover in them, not for what I might be looking for, not for what I might wish or need. The self-evidence in togetherness with relatives demands little testing, curiosity and inquisitiveness, while being with friends and lovers makes me curious about who they might be. There seems to be more challenges into getting to know a person, the challenges that might prove the particular bond. Being related requires no challenges, even when some might arise. Thus, there is a need to look for the reason of the bond.
I do not recall ever making experiments to find out more about my parents. Never did I come up with the thought of wanting to know who or how my mother, father, grandmother or aunt were. But because I wish to love and appreciate the different layers that a new acquaintance brings along, I will try, test, experiment and question them, almost in the same manner that I go about creating a piece of music, a visual object or a photograph.
All of a sudden, while smoking a Pigtail Maduro, I questioned, what would be the visual experience of a cigar in my hand on my back…
And because I cannot envision any self-evidence about what happens through such a photography shot, I had to shoot in order to discover which visual and/or mental possibilities might be born. Perhaps is this one of the reasons I have often refused to call myself a photographer. I am open for the discovery of what might result, the color, the movement, the lighting, the colors, but I seldom shoot with an expected result, never out of self-evidence. Based on self-evidence, I would probably do not photograph at all.